i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
