Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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