I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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