I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
