I wanna passion pit in your ass
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
