She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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