Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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