But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
