Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
