dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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