She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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