But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
