Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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