it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize