If i come over, it means nothing
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
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I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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