she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I touched a dick in church today
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
