been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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