But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize