ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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