Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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