How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
