Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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