i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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