very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
