They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
