why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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