he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
