So drunk its hurt
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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