wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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