I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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