I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Two words: blizzard sex
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
