I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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