so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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