cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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