One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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