Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
