Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
