I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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