she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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