I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
this will be a night to untag.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
