Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
