I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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