she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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