If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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