What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
