We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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