I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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