Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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