Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
