we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cockslap morals
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
