I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
