you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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