You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.