I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
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The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.