WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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