apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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