So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Welp...herpes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
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Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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