it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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