Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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