It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
